(Backpost) Too much death

Posted on Sat Jul 4th, 2020 @ 4:49pm by Captain Taliserra Tigran & Civilian Selene Devore

2,253 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: To catch a thief
Location: Captains Quarters
Timeline: 26th March 2395

Tapping at the chime for Taliserra's quarters Selene waited nervously, it wasn't like Taliserra to not allow her immediate access to her quarters, something didn't seem right.

"Taliserra, it's your mother." She called out.

After a long minute the door finally opened but Taliserra was not there at the door, Selene stepped inside and saw her sat at her desk staring out the big window into space.

"Taliserra? are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Taliserra replied very flatly not turning away from the window.

Selene looked her daughter up and down, her appearance didn't match her words. She was only partly dressed, her usually neatly kept hair was frazzled and it looked like she had been crying. "You don't look fine Tali."

"I'm fine." Taliserra repeated.

Selene glanced towards Taliserra's bedroom when she heard Lashell start crying, she waited a few seconds to see what she would do. When she didn't move she spoke up. "Your daughter is crying Tali, are you not going to go to her?"

Taliserra remained motionless "She will be alright."

"This isn't like you Tali." Selene said, she quickly headed into the bedroom to check on Lashell emerging a few moments later with the baby over her shoulder. "Talk to me, what is wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, I just want some time alone."

"Alright, I will take Lashell for a while, you will have to talk to me some time Tali, whatever it is I can help."

Taking Lashell with her Selene walked out into the corridor. "Computer open a channel to Deepak El-Azar." She said. The computer beeped a acknowledgement.

=/\= Deepak it's Selene, do you have a minute? =/\=

Rolling over on his sofa and grabbing the communications badge that was on the coffee table nearby, Deepak El-Azar was quick to respond. There was always something happening on the starship, and being to go to for any sort of emotional stress aside from a bartender meant he was pretty much always on call.

"Go ahead" he responded to Selene's call. Something triggered a more immediate response from him. It was like the air was charged as be sprung upward "What's wrong?" he added swiftly.

=/\= Something doesn't feel right with Taliserra, she looks like she hasn't slept and has been crying, staring off into space and not wanting to talk.=/\=

Deepak made an audible Hmm sound over the comm as he thought. "Fascinating," he replied, she had snagged his interest and he was lured to his feet by the urgency in her tone of voice. There was definitely a concern of sorts albeit not exactly human in nature. "Have you experienced anything strange lately yourself?" he inquired as he slid on a shirt and made himself five minutes presentable.

"Nothing that stands out as strange. She seemed fine yesterday, full of energy like usual." She replied.

"I will be on way," Deepak said informing the woman. This seemed like the right time for a house call. Though he was curious if this was something within his area of expertise or if he would require some assistance. "So, she was fine yesterday, but all of a sudden is acting strange. She will not talk? Do you think we may need to bring Doctor Seleya in on this?"

"She doesn't look injured and she can talk but doesn't want to say much, just sit there staring out the window into space."

Deepak quickened his pace as he proceeded down the corridors with the comm channel open between them. "That could be a whole bunch of things, Selene" he replied unable to make a diagnosis over a comm without seeing his patient. "Even if there is no visible physical damage, any sort of contusion to the head could cause a concussion. Various neurological problems could cause this, and all of that is in Doctor Seleya's area of medicine" he noted. "If this is something psychological, that's more my area, but it may be prudent to summon us both there."

Selene shook her head even though she knew Deepak couldn't see it. "She'd know to go and see medical if she was injured, she wanted to be left alone and was not interested when her daughter was crying, I would think this is more your department."

"Then let me in" he replied as he leaned forward and pressed the chime. He was there as fast as he could get there. It was sounding more and more like something in his area of expertise. "I'll have a look at her, but if I feel the need to request Doctor Seleya I will."

"Normally I can get in without having to chime but she wouldn't let me in for a long time," Selene said, glad Deepak had finally arrived.

Deepak nodded. "Usually, I would be in a similar situation as a civilian aboard this starship; however, I am fortunate enough to be considered medical personnel and as the senior-most counselor, that adds some validity and broadness to my authority," he said just before authorizing a medical override in order to gain entry.

Walking in, Deepak approached cautiously. "Pleasure to be a pain in your side as always, Captain," he said setting his kit down and having a look at the woman. "Care for some tea?" he asked trying to at least make some simple conversation with her.

"What are you doing here Deepak?" Taliserra said not turning away from the window. She hadn't quite expected the door top open without her approval.

Deepak ordered two hot teas and dispensed them to Taliserra and himself accordingly. "Oh, you know me...I was just strolling on by and thought I would come to pay you a visit" he said sarcastically. He took a sip of his tea and gazed into her eyes for a moment. "How are you feeling, Captain?" he asked wanting to see if he could squeeze anything out of her easily.

"My mother sent you, didn't she?" She asked, meeting his gaze for a fraction of a second.

Deepak chuckled "Well, that is what mothers tend to do" he replied sipping his tea afterwards. He sat the tea down and has another look at the Captain. "They get worried, but I suspect she may have been right to do so" he noted. "She says you have been closed off and have not been tending to your child. That's a bit concerning, wouldn't you agree?"

"Lashell was fine, she only started crying just after my mother came in." Talierra replied. "I just want some time alone, time to think."

"Impressive," replied Deepak. "Your command of words is a dying art form. I do not think I have heard something more direct, to the point, and dead in the water conversationally then when I asked Lieutenant Misaka how her day was that one time" added Doctor El-Azar sarcastically. He shook his head. "I understand the need for alone time and time to think, but what exactly has you in this state of mind?"

"Death." She simply stated.

"Sex, drugs, and rock and roll" replied Deepak with a sigh. "Yes, death is something that is on the minds of most individuals either directly or indirectly. There has been a lot death during my time aboard. I would not be having this conversation with you had there not been."

"I've been Captain for three months and haven't had a assignment where someone hasn't died.... add to that I just effectively sentenced a few thousand people to death." She said finally moving her gaze away from the window to look at Deepak.

Deepak was starting to get a better understanding of what her issue was, and yes it was very much psychological. "If you wanted safety and responsibility of being Captain then you would have been better off on a luxury cruise ship, not a Federation starship" he replied. Though he may have looked youthful and 'delicate,' his approach with individuals was sometimes more direct and stiffly heavy handed.

Doctor El-Azar gestured to the top of her desk. "One call to Admiralty and lying your communications badge down. Small little steps towards walking away from these past three months, Captain. You can go find something else fulfilling in life, raise your child with more insurance that you will be around to see her grow up, but is that really something you want?" he countered.

He looked at the woman and with a crisp tone added "You stand there a woman crippled by the death of crew, who lived long enough make tough decisions, decisions that have lead you to act as GOD and executioner...'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds'" Deepak said quoting from the Bhagavad Gita.

"We know to expect casualties, one or two here and there. But I've lost over fourty of MY crew, in such a short time." She told him. "And it's not just that, I've haven't been able to do anything to help prevent their deaths, if anything I've contributed to the majority of them."

"You will get no argument from me" replied Deepak. "I cannot tell you that there was anything you could have done to prevent the deaths of your crew, especially at the hands of a virus" he said calmly. "Your ship and your command have been met with challenges in these few months that others are fortunate to avoid or not face so close together, but your crew who died did so serving and some even sacrificed themselves to quell the number of deaths."

"I keep telling myself that," Taliserra said sighing slightly. "that they died doing what they loved and that they knew the risks when they signed up. But it doesn't make me feel any better."

"It is not there to make you feel any better" replied Deepak. "It is there to remind you that these people did not die randomly or being placed at risk improperly. They may not have chosen death, but they did choose service. Death was always there, something that could happen, and they accepted that every day they put on their uniforms."

"But a Captain should do everything in their power to prevent that from happening," She wrapped her hands around the cup of tea he'd placed on her desk. "something I have failed at."

"You did not fail" replied Deepak. "You tried. You made decisions that were difficult, but necessary. There was not much room nor time to do anything differently."

"It's better to have tried and failed than never tried," Taliserra said paraphrasing an old earth quote, she sighed heavily before finally picking up her tea and taking a sip. "You're right."

"I know I am" replied Deepak. "This entire starship with all the crew who have been here at every turn know as well. You are their Captain and they entrust themselves to you. They serve Starfleet under your command, your directions, and your decisions. The loss of crew is not something that one gets over in a short period of time. Honestly, no amount of time will ever heal those loses or make you comfortable with the decisions you made, but you can either spend eternity or several lifetimes grappling back and forth with it, and let life warp past you, or you can honor those that have died in the line of duty by being the Commanding Officer they gave their life for."

"I won't dishonour them." She told him before sitting back in her chair, "Thank you Deepak, for coming to see me."

The man smiled. "That is why I am aboard after all, at least now with my recent increase in duties and responsibilities. The well being of all the crew, Captain included is of the utmost importance."

"Is my mother still outside?" Taliserra asked, no doubt she was pacing around outside waiting for either her or Deepak to emerge with news.

Deepak nodded. "Yes, I believe she is," he said kindly. "Probably very much worried about you too." he added.

Tapping a panel on the desk Taliserra unlocked the door and with Selene slowly pacing in the corridor the door registered her approach and opened. Selene poked her head into Taliserra's quarters.

"Come on in mother." Taliserra told her.

Selene came in and sat down with Lashell next to Deepak on the sofa.

Taliserra paused for a moment. "I'm sorry for not talking to you, for blocking you out."

Selene looked at Taliserra as Lashell sat there next to the Ship's Counselor, and the woman opted for a soft reassuring tone. "It is alright, that was why I called Doctor El-Azar to come here. I know when something is not right, and clearly something was not right. I have a mother's intuition about things" she replied.

The Counselor could see the two women has some things to work on between them. Communication was definitely one of those things. He arose from the sofa and was careful not to disturb the child. "You two have a lot to discuss. If you need me, let me know, but for now I feel it is best I give you some privacy and return to my own quarters."

"Thank you Deepak." They both said in turn.

The man gave a simple bow of his head. "You're welcome," he said in a brief exchange of gratitude. It was nice to actually be summoned to deal with something. He proceeded out of the Captain's quarters.


OFF:

Captain Taliserra Tigran
Commanding Officer

Selene Devore
Captains Mother [Npc Taliserra]

Dr. Deeak El-Azar
Ship's Counselor

 

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