Rules of Acquisition

The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition are a series of 285 aphorisms, guidelines, and principles that are the foundation of business philosophy in Ferengi culture.

According to legend, Gint, the first Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliance, coined the first Rule, remembered as #162. (The legend further states that Gint numbered the Rule as the 162nd in order to create demand for the first 161. Some Federation cultural historians are dubious as to the validity of this claim.)

The number of rules have grown considerably since their introduction. In 2151, there were only 187 rules.

There was also a short lived revised edition of the Rules written by Grand Nagus Zek after having his state of mind changed by the Bajoran Prophets. These rules were almost complete opposites of the original rules and promoted honesty and charity. After Zek recovered, he ordered all copies of the new rules to be destroyed.

The following is a list of the Rules known to the Federation.

Official Rules

Number	Rule
1	Once you have their money, you never give it back.
2	The best deal is the one that makes the most profit.
3	Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
4	A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
6	Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7	Keep your ears open.
8	Small print leads to large risk.
9	Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10	Greed is eternal.
11	Even if it's free, you can always buy it cheaper.
12	Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
13	Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
16	A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
17	A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi.
18	A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19	Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21	Never place friendship above profit.
22	A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23	Nothing is more important than your health... except for your money.
27	There is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
28	Whisper your way to success.
29	Nothing is more important than your health...except your money.
31	Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.1
33	It never hurts to suck up to the boss.2
34	War is good for business.
35	Peace is good for business.3
40	She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
41	Profit is its own reward.
44	Never confuse wisdom with luck.
45	Expand or die.4
47	Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48	The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
52	Never ask when you can take.
57	Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.
58	There is no substitute for success.
59	Free advice is seldom cheap.
60	Keep your lies consistent.
62	The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
65	Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff].
74	Knowledge equals profit.
75	Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
76	Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
79	Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
82	The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85	Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
89	Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
94	Females and finances don't mix.
95	Expand...or die.
97	Enough...is never enough.
98	Every man has his price.
99	Trust is the biggest liability of all.
102	Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103	Sleep can interfere with your lust for latinum.4
104	Faith moves mountains... of inventory.
106	There is no honor in poverty.
109	Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
111	Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.
112	Never have sex with the boss's sister.
113	Always have sex with the boss.
121	Everything is for sale, even friendship.
123	Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
125	You can't make a deal if you're dead.
139	Wives serve, brothers inherit.
141	Only fools pay retail.
144	There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
162	Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
168	Whisper your way to success.
177	Know your enemies... but do business with them always.
181	Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189	Let others keep their reputation. You keep their latinum.
190	Hear all, trust nothing.
192	Never cheat a Klingon... unless you can get away with it.
194	It's always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
202	The justification for profit is profit.
203	New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
208	Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is an answer.
211	Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
214	Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
217	You can't free a fish from water.
218	Always know what you're buying.
223	Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
229	Latinum lasts longer than lust.
236	You can't buy fate.
239	Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
242	More is good. All is better.
255	A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant a necessity.
261	A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
263	Never let doubt interfere with your lust for latinum.
266	When in doubt, lie.
284	Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
285	No good deed ever goes unpunished.

The unofficial Rules have been quoted, but either were not explicitly given a number, not explicitly stated to be a Rule, or were not part of the generally-accepted canon by the Ferengi Commerce Authority.

Unofficial Rules

Number	Rule
142	Only fools sell wholesale. (See Rule #141)
286	When Morn leaves, it's all over.
299	After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them next time.
–	Exploitation begins at home.
(The unwritten rule)	When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.
-	When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits... kill the messenger.
–	Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.
–	Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.5
–	Money is money, but women are better.6

¹ Supposedly, Rule #31 concludes with "...insult something he cares about instead."

² Brunt stated a variation of this Rule (without referring to it by number) with: "It's never too early to suck up to the boss".

³ Par Lenor stated something quite similar to this rule: "Peace is good for trade... unless you happen to be an arms merchant!"

⁴ This rule was interrupted before it could be finished. Some say it ends like it says here, but some say it ends with "opportunity."

⁵ Not quoted word for word, but when Sisko asks if such a rule exists, Quark acknowledges that there is.

⁶ A personal rule quoted by Nog.