After the Storm

Posted on Tue Jun 25th, 2019 @ 12:57am by Lieutenant Commander Radak
Edited on on Thu Jun 18th, 2020 @ 6:54am

2,804 words; about a 14 minute read

Mission: The science of stars

ON:

Ilana had been helping in sickbay. Doctor Seleya was proving to be quite knowledgeable. She decided to take a break and have lunch in the mess. After gathering her tray of bacon and eggs and hash browns she made her way through the hall to find a table. There in the corner was Radak. She smiled and headed towards the table. "Hello there. Can I join you?"

Radak was surprised. He actually jumped in his seat a little, his head snapping up. When their eyes met he was afraid that she could see his internal struggle and for a moment he scrambled to cover it up. "Please join me," he said softly. "How are you doing?" he asked simply, concentrating to keep his brows from furrowing.

She studied him. Something was off, but she wouldn't push... yet. "I am alright. Galatea's loss was difficult and is difficult. Doctor Seleya is still letting me help in sickbay though." She sipped from her drink. "I'm glad you are okay."

Radek reached across the table and held his hand out for hers, something he had rarely done. "I am glad you are alright as well. It was hard and is hard. They say that loss doesn't go away, but it does get easier to deal with. I have no idea if that is true. I am glad you are keeping busy though and out of trouble." His tone was quiet and calm and he was meeting her gaze through glances. His remark about "keeping out of trouble" should have probably been a joke, but his tone didn't convey it.

She took his hand. It surprised her that he was so willingly affectionate as he kept to himself, but she wondered if this display meant that he liked her even a little. "Keeping out of trouble? I don't know. You know that it's hard cause Trouble is my middle name." She chuckled.

Radak squeezed her hand tightly. He had no words to explain to her how good that simple touch felt. It was almost as if she had the power to melt away everything that had happened to him over the last few days. He looked at her and found he didn't want to look away.

Smiling, she said, "We never did get to have our date... I mean dinner."

"We did not. Things... became rather difficult, rather quickly." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I would still like to go on that date," he said softly. "Maybe now, that things have calmed down a little. I do not know how all of this has affected you, but I would appreciate someone to talk to." He sort of backpedaled then, thinking more carefully about what he had said. "Not that I necessarily want to talk about what happened. Just... talking would be nice."

She smiled, "I would very much like that. Tonight then?" She studied him. She could tell something was weighing heavy on him. "How about the holodeck? I'd like to show you part of my home if you are up to it."

Radek nodded. "Yes, please... I would like that very much. Do... do you want to meet somewhere first for dinner? Or do you want to eat on the holodeck? I am not quite certain what your traditions are." He was holding tightly to her hand still and seemed unlikely to let go.

She smiled. "I can prepare a... picnic for us. Is there a specific food you like or do you trust me," she said with a smile that promised culinary delights.

He smiled just a little. The barest corners of his mouth turning up. He couldn't help it. She made him feel better, more like his old self and not the emotional mess he currently was. "A picnic would be lovely. I trust you. There are not actually a lot of foods I do not like. I am a little sensitive to spice."

"Excellent!" She gave his hand a squeeze. "I shall have a feast for us in no time." She grinned. "Now, wear something for warmth."

They stood, walking to the door. "I will see you tonight then," she said, feeling like she didn't want to let go of his hand, but wanting to.

Radak didn't want to let go of her hand either and squeezed it back. He nodded in agreement. "I am looking forward to it," he said softly. He finally managed to loosen his grasp.

She smiled one last time, said her goodbyes and then left.


=/\=That Evening=/\=

Ilana smiled as he looked over the field. The sky was a rosey pink and the grass a teal blue. It seemed to catch the last rays of the setting sun. She'd laid out the picnic and now waited for Radak. In some ways it hurt being home, in others it felt good. She had replicated her favourite spot on a hill overlooking her village.

Radak had taken extra care with his grooming for this evening. He wore a loose fitting, dark green tunic and a pair of comfortable, cotton-like slacks. He had showered and even taken some time to fix his hair. He stepped through the doors of the holodeck, not quite sure what to expect. He didn't expect the hill and the lovely view and the interesting colors. "Ilana..." he said softly, watching her for a few moments before speaking.

Ilana had taken care in her appearance. She'd chosen a knee length dress that slipped off the shoulders in her signature orange and purple colour. It also showcased the Kriosian spots that started at her neck and ran down the length of her body to her ankles. She had her hair up so her pointy Vulcan ears showed. She rarely had her hair up, but today seemed appropriate. She smiled. "Welcome to the Kriosian homeworld." She gestured. "Very few see it and I only come when I miss the colours."

Radak nodded. "I can see why you would miss those colors. It is beautiful. Is this somewhere you are familiar with?" He stepped towards her carefully. It was funny to him that he was perfectly comfortable walking over green grass, no matter where it was, but make the grass teal and he felt a little like he was going to smear the canvas by walking on it. He stepped to the edge of her picnic spread. "May I join you?" He knew what the answer would be, but it felt more polite this way. He waited for her answer.

She smiled. "Please." She waited until he sat and then she motioned towards the village they were overlooking. "That was where I was born. It was... not a pleasant memory, but whenever I was sad or felt alone I came here. It was like... being one with nature. I somehow felt safe here."

Radak smiled a little bit and nodded. "I can actually understand that feeling. I too did not really enjoy where I was born, but that changed and my life found meaning. It is very beautiful. I can sort of understand why you would feel safe here. At least you are a reasonable distance from your village." He reached for her hand. "Thank you for doing this," he said softly.

She smiled, filled with warmth that he'd been the one to seek her hand out. When this all started, being here on the ship, she hadn't known what possibility it could open up. She sighed and looked at her hand in his. "I'm starting to feel grateful for the bump on the head. Losing my memory and thinking of you as my husband seems to have opened up something wonderfully unexpected."

Radak looked at her, his face the mask of Vulcan seriousness. "It was more than that Ilana... It is... difficult for me to trust people. Much of my childhood was far from pleasant. It made me very wary. There have been very few people that I have ever trusted. You are one of those people." He shrugged a little, only one shoulder tipping towards his ear. "There is just... something about you that I know I can believe in and trust." He squeezed her hand.

She smiled, looking at their linked hands. "I can relate. Trust was never my strong suit. I was the outsider, the one that was and never would be good enough. I wasn't Vulcan enough for one parent, not Kriosian enough for another. I had only myself to rely on. But I see that trust in you and I trust you too." She smiled as the sun continued to set. "Shall we eat?" She started pulling out the food and soon they were eating, laughing, talking and enjoying themselves.

Radak enjoyed the meal, allowing himself a rare occasion to sort of let his hair down and actually enjoy himself without fear of reprimand for his emotions. He felt at ease with Ilana, not something that he experienced often. It was important to him to not let his guard down, but she made him feel at ease. In his fantasies of telling people that he was Romulan, she was always top of his list of people to tell. He let himself enjoy this. Time passed quickly, though, and soon the meal was done.

Ilana turned to Radak as they packed up the food and dishes. They sat side by side, sipping wine and looking out the beauty before them. Radak said something she didn't catch and then she turned slightly to ask what he'd said when their eyes met. She held his gaze. They were but a whisper away and she leaned in slowly touching her lips to his. At first the kiss was gentle and feather light, slowly, glasses set aside, she held his face as they deepened their kiss. A sudden rush of thoughts and feelings, not her own entered her mind. It was as if her mind had reached out for his and his for hers.

Radak didn't protest. He hadn't planned on kissing her, but he had also prepared himself for the potential and had already had no plan of pulling away if it did. He was very pleased that it did. As the kiss deepened, something strange happened. He felt a slight pull at his mind, before he really knew what was happening he received a rush of feelings and images that he knew were not his own. Once it started he didn't really know how to stop it.

There were images of Ilana, very young, feeling alone, unloved. The ringing of harsh words as she was told she just wasn't good enough. Days alone spent entertaining herself with books and toys still feeling unwanted, unloved, and always alone. She tried to shut the images down but they came quickly and then the scene shifted. It was not her anymore but... what appeared to be a young Radak.

Radak also tried to resist, but the memories of his past came rushing forward as if they were desperate to be shared. Violence, darkness and pain. His father's voice angry and cruel. Countless hours spent drifting on a haze of physical pain and rejection by the very people who were supposed to love him. Then his escape to Vulcan. The relief to even live on the streets with nothing was preferable to the emotional and physical devastation of his home on Romulus. Then memories of Kov. Kov had taken him off the streets. Taught him to hide his Romulan heritage and learn how to be a Vulcan instead.

She pulled away and gasped as the memories stopped. She looked at him. "I... You... You are a Romulan."

Radak was stuck. He couldn't deny the memories, obviously some sort of telepathy had happened between them. There was no sense in lying. She had already seen too much. "Lower your voice," he said softly. The mere mention of it making him paranoid beyond belief. He nodded. "Yes."

Ilana was smiling at him. "I was right! You are totally my Romulan!" she said enthusiastically as she threw her arms around him. "Oh Radak! I'm so sorry you went through that!" She kept hugging him.

He made a little "oof" noise when she hugged him, caught totally off guard and suddenly with a girl mostly in his lap. It took him a moment before he could react at all, but when he could he hugged her back tightly. "No one can know. You have to promise me that you will not tell anyone. Even if that person is your best friend. Please Ilana. My whole career could be in danger just because you know."

She pulled back. "Radak... you know there are some Romulans in Starfleet right? I won't tell anyone, but your record, the man you are... it all speaks to how amazing you are. Your other side is not a weakness."

Radak shook his head. "The Romulans are not part of the Federation..." he said softly. "I would have had to ask for an officer to advocate for me and as far as I know... there are not any Romulans serving in Starfleet. Maybe a half-Romulan or two. It is very important that you don't tell anyone... please."

"Actually you are right about the advocating part. There is exactly two full blooded Romulans in the fleet... I am a writer I checked, they both refused my interviews for my book." She smiled. "I won't tell anyone." She took his hand. "I promise."

Radak allowed himself to smile and squeezed her hand. "Thank you." He couldn't really express how grateful he was that she would keep quiet. He was also grateful that someone finally knew. It was almost as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders. "So... what exactly happened there? When our minds connected?"

She sighed. "To be honest I don't know. Kriosians, we can sense the thoughts of others. Most... all full Kriosian women are usually married to a man of their family's choosing and they adapt their personality to what his ideal mate is. I never inherited that... that is probably why I was just a disappointment to my mother. My other siblings, the girls, inherited full Kriosian abilities. Now, the Vulcans, as you know, can mind meld. I was never good at those... I'm guessing that's what happened. A mind meld."

"You know, Romulans can do that too. Mind meld. They just usually choose to ignore those abilities, so they never get developed. I'm sure my brain participated in that too." There was a pause and he took a deep breath. "I did a mind meld recently. I've never been very good at them, but I did it anyway... with Sika," he said softly.

She gasped. "But... Sika died... was it before that or as he was passing?"

"He... he came to my quarters. It was already way too late to save him. His organs were shutting down. He insisted... so... I did it. Mind melds were never my strong suit though." He sighed softly and hugged her tightly. "It was probably pretty stupid, but he was dying and he insisted..."

She hugged him back. "That's not good. Did he say anything about why?" She was worried. Vulcans, like other species that included the Bajorans and Betazoids, and Kriosians and many more believed in a soul and that it could be passed at death.

"He did... but he said a lot of things. Some that didn't make any sense to me at all. He said it was because he didn't have any family and he didn't want his memories or experiences to be forgotten." He was silent a moment. "I couldn't tell a dying man that I wouldn't try..."

She sighed. "This could go a lot of ways. I think you need to speak to the doctor."

Radak made a face. "I'm fine. It was just a lot of effort and I'm tired. There was a little bit of emotional transference, but I promise you that it's fading. Please don't worry."

She smiled at him. "I can't help but worry. Radak... I really like you," she confessed. "I've never really liked anyone like this."

Radak chuckled, allowing himself a moment to show who he really was outside of the tightly controlled Vulcan box that he normally lived in. "Funny... I feel the same way about you..."

She smiled, feeling content. She loved to see him like this unguarded. It seemed to take years off his face. He had a devastatingly handsome smile and the ears were quite fascinating too! She grinned at him. "You don't say."

"Actually, I do say..." he said softly and leaned in for another kiss.

:OFF


Lieutenant Commander Radak
Executive Officer, USS Wolff

&

Ilana Jareth
Civilian

 

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